How the Myth of the Strong Black Woman Hurts Us All

Throughout life, I've often been described by my friends and family as a "strong black woman." Followed by the statement, "it's a compliment!" My usual response has always been not to overthink it and keep pushing on. However, in therapy, I later realized I had internalized the statement literally. My definition of the "strong black woman" has always been tough, never breaking or bending to anyone. She is a woman who is so strong she never shows or expresses what she is truly feeling. She never backs down from an argument. She's superwoman and can take on anything thrown her way.

The "strong black woman" is a trope that has existed for centuries. This myth is rooted in a long history of racism and sexism, perpetuating the idea that black women are superhuman and capable of withstanding any hardship. Unfortunately, this narrative has caused more harm than good to our community because it denies us the ability to be vulnerable, exhausted, and even angry.

The truth behind this myth is that black women are not superhuman—we are human. We experience pain and suffering just like everyone else does. We experience exhaustion, heartache, depression, and anger like everyone else. But often, we don't allow ourselves to express these emotions out loud because we feel we need to maintain a facade of strength. We fear that if we let our walls down, people won't take us seriously or think less of us. So instead, we bottle up our feelings and try to put on a brave face while struggling silently inside.

This false narrative has also been used against us—black women are often portrayed as aggressive or angry when in reality, we're just expressing valid emotions or trying to stand up for ourselves in difficult situations. It's no wonder why so many black women suffer from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety due to this pressure to remain strong at all times.

We must embrace our humanity to create real change in our community. That means allowing ourselves the space to be honest about how we're feeling without worrying about what other people might think or say about it. It means recognizing that it's okay not to be strong all the time—that it's okay to take breaks when needed or ask for help if you need it. It also means standing up for each other instead of tearing each other down with words like "angry black woman" or "strong black woman"—because by doing so, we can start creating a new narrative that recognizes the multidimensional nature of black women rather than relying on harmful stereotypes or tropes.

The myth of the strong black woman needs to be challenged if we want real progress in our society—progress in equality, representation, and justice for all people, regardless of gender or race. By recognizing our humanity and embracing vulnerability rather than shying away from it, we can create more meaningful connections with one another and make positive changes in our communities by standing together instead of apart. So let's commit today to break down these harmful stereotypes so that future generations will know their worth without having their strength questioned or diminished due to outdated myths about who they should be!